What light...?

I have always been in theatre. I have been an actress and a director. I have done anything and everything on the technical side, but one side I had never conquered was playwriting. I was perfectly happy being a minor actress and a lead technician. Two years ago, I acted in a program called P.U.P Fest, a.k.a Playwrights Under Progress Fest. Five plays are handpicked, cast, rehearsed, and performed by teenagers in grades 9-12. After that experience, I fell in love with P.U.P Fest and swore I would write a show and be picked to participate again—as a playwright.

Last year, I was too busy. This year, I felt like I needed to expand my horizons. The school year started, but my life was still a whirlpool with hardly a second to write anything, let alone a play. Months went by, and then it was April: the deadline was Thursday, and it was Monday. What the heck? I sat down, and in a matter of hours, I had a play. I zoomed it through a quick edit and sent it on its way to the theatre company. A few weeks went by, and I received a call. I had made it! Wow, best feeling in the world. Talk about cloud nine—more like cloud 39!

Playwright Charis Royal

My play, “There’s Something Wrong in Wonderland: A Romiet and Julio Story,” was a comedy-spoof wrapped up in a tragedy. Based on a twisted version of “Romeo and Juliet,” a high school boy named Jule falls asleep right before a Shakespeare test. The next thing he knows, he wakes up in the middle of “Romeo and Juliet,” as Juliet. The characters in Shakespeare’s original “Romeo and Juliet” land in some strange world: all the women think they are men, and vice-versa. There’s an obsessive “boy”-friend, an over possessive “brother,” a horribly biased cat, and a slightly insane nurse. The combination leads to a disastrous version of “Romeo and Juliet” that Jule with never forget!

The whole gender swap in my show and the confusion of whom, or rather, what gender the characters are, can be connected to how many LGBTQ youth don’t know how they identify. Many of my fellow youth at Youth First Texas are transgender or gender-queer. Many took years to realize who and what they are. Seeing actors who are not LGBTQ try to fit in these roles was eye opening, and I hope that when my play is performed again the director will play up the gender confusion, and the fact the “girls” in the show are “butch” and the Friar is feminine.

During the week of rehearsal, I met a group of people I will never forget. They brought my story to life, and I am so thankful to them for giving me a chance of a lifetime!

EDITOR’S NOTE: Earlier this summer, a group from YFT turned a regularly scheduled Open Mic night into a field trip to the McKinney Avenue Contemporary to show support for Charis and to see her play.

The cast stops for a group photo

I made special effort to get here, despite working long hours and living in Plano without a car. Today is “Gender Specific Toy Night.”

In Gender Identity Group we were asked to bring a toy that plagued or delighted us during childhood so we could unpack the emotions associated with it. At first I couldn’t focus on anything. Most of my toys were gender-neutral, with the exception of my action figures I played with like Barbies. I had Legos, chemistry sets, telescopes, microscopes, space ships, models, video games and other toys that were certainly nerdy, but not really gendered.

Then I remembered one toy of mine that was gender-neutral to everyone but my daddy: my Cabbage Patch Doll. He had spiky blond hair and blue eyes, “Because he’s my baby,” I often shared with other girls my age. I couldn’t quite understand why my doll was a boy when all the other girls had girls, so I fondly named him, “Boy”. As an adult I learned my daddy threw a fit when I first received him and anytime I went in public with him, which was constant until school started. The women of my family came to my defense and said there was nothing wrong with my behavior, which he begrudgingly accepted.

Although I grew out of my doll phase I still loved and prized him over all my stuffed toys. But at the age of 12 my daddy sold Boy at a garage sale while I was visiting my mom. I cried like I had lost a family member. I could see my daddy’s disapproval of my gendered behavior was much stronger than I realized and thereafter tried to “be a man” in his presence. My mother tried to console me by tearing into daddy but the damage was done.

Ever since, I’ve hoped to find another doll like Boy, but no such luck. So I went to Target the day before to get a generic doll substitute. I selected a doll with yellow yarn hair and blue eyes and purchased her with no discomfort or embarrassment. Only after talking with another girl tonight do I realized this was the first time I have ever made a purchase from “The Pink Aisle”. I remember being so drawn to that aisle as a child but feeling physically ill because I knew I wasn’t “supposed” to like them. I believed every patron would know my secret shame from my mere presence in the aisle. Now that I’ve grown up it’s easy for me to forget how far I’ve come. I know if I went back in time and told 8-year-old Dorian that she’d be buying dresses, makeup and babydolls without any trouble when she’s a grown-up she’d tell me I was full of it. The distance I’ve traveled absolutely amazes me sometimes.

Blogger Laquilla Coleman

Our Stories, Our Voices is a blog series written by the youth for other youth about issues they have had to deal with in their lives.

At the end of the day I ask myself, I wonder what it’s like? To be Bisexual or heck even Lesbian. When I say that I’m a straight ally a part of me says but you are totally checking out that chick sitting on the couch wondering what her parents would think of you and her together. It’s a very confusing thing/time for me especially since I’m in college and no one or nothing can stop me!
Well, I feel that way sometimes lol. I want to be able to be true to myself because some people don’t even know that I’m an ally if I was bi or lesbian, I don’t think anyone would know. I claimed I was bisexual a while back for about a month or four. It felt for lack of a better word, right. Then I got smacked with the fist of God and I completely “changed”. On the outside I totally changed but in my mind, in my ? I felt as if I was lying to myself. I knew that I liked girls, I knew that I fantasized about them all the time.
For a while I thought maybe the environment that I’m around is making me think these thoughts so I tore myself away from my dear friends of the LGBT community for about two years as I battled with my heart what’s right for me and for my morals. I questioned so much that I became depressed, it harmed me more than it helped me. So I decided well maybe God will let me be an ally because I strongly believe in equal rights. I felt a little better but I still can’t shake these thoughts that I have of being with girls. I think I scared myself into not talking to girls or trying to get to know a potential girl. I have no idea what to say or do. It’s different with a guy I suppose.
This is totally confusing! I have had a fling with one girl and dated another for about 4 months. I felt alive, I felt strong, I thought that I found what I wanted. When all that was over, I felt weird, like a normal kid (funny right?). I don’t want you guys to think that I want to be different or I think that being lesbian or bi is just a phase for me. I thought about girls when I was in 6th grade. I figured since I wasn’t dating a guy that I’m going to date a girl. I convinced a friend of mine to get naked so I could see what she looks like. After that, I didn’t think about girls until freshman year and I dated this girl, she was great. She smelled like beef and strawberries and she had me in the palm of her hand. She always made me a Mexican style breakfast every morning and we always went to the Galleria to hang out after school. My religion and spirituality was failing and I felt like a monster for letting that happen. So when I had my fling, I tore her in two telling her that this could never happen since my religion won’t allow me.
I was soo unhappy but I realized that it was for the betterment of myself. I want to be true to myself while still having my close relationship to God and I always question, can that be possible? And if I decided that I’m bi or lesbian am I prepared to lose the support of my minister and his family and my friends? It’s heartbreaking because I love them so much and they are like my 3rd family twice removed, they have been there through thick and thin so lying to them is not an option. Besides, I’m a sucky liar. Then, the words of my grandma echoes in my head, “if you have to think twice about doing something, then you shouldn’t do it at all.” that throws me off in so many ways because if I look back when I considered dating someone, my mind went right in the middle of a guy and a girl. *sigh* this is a gigantic headache that I have brought upon myself!
Ha Ha Ha Ha whew this is getting too serious! Joke time: nah, I don’t have one.
I don’t want me being bisexual lose my chances of dating a guy as well as a girl but then again they probably weren’t worth it then huh? I don’t want me being lesbian hinder me from getting a job. The question: “if you don’t want to go through all of that then why even consider being bi or lesbian?” I always talk myself in circles because there is always another answer, another way to look at it. I need to stop b.s.’n around and decide if the sweet and tender voice of someone calling my name that sends butterflies to my stomach and curves of a woman fitting oh so right in my arms is worth losing friends and loved ones? Is being called a “carpet muncher” going to effect how I see myself? Is hiding who I really am help my case of telling others to be true to themselves? Do I want all the goods and none of the bad things?
Lots of things to consider. Now that I don’t have to deal with paying rent at the age of 17 while trying to pay for my mom’s HIV meds, I can really start to focus on myself. I didn’t know where to start but now this subject has popped up plenty of times. I felt like venting my emotions because everyone sees the girl who is so sure of herself and is always cracking jokes or hugging people. I’m not sure if I’m ready to understand life yet. My mind is just telling me to “choose” a side but my heart is letting me know that I can take my time. It’s hard to focus on yourself when your whole life you focused on others. I feel selfish and rude and sometimes just grumpy! This is a long road that some of us choose. It will be the most successful though!

Go west, young man. And so, upon hearing those words, or something remarkably similar, Charley Scarborough hit the trail and headed for the wilds of Fort Worth’s Sundance Square in order to brave the slings and arrows of outrageous improv comedy with the troupe known as Four Day Weekend.

Charley Scarborough, 21,  is an active member of the YFT community. In addition to his work on the youth board, he’s also the co-founder of the book club and a frequent participant in the bi-monthly open-mic poetry nights. Charley loves words, and he thinks fast; besides being known as a fine, thoughtful poet, he excels at outrageous, rapid-fire zingers.

For the past two years, he has diligently worked a nine-to-five office job even though his passion lies elsewhere. Ever since he was a child, Charley has been able to make people laugh, so while having a steady job offers him a certain amount of comfort, he’d really like to try his hand at comedy and perhaps even have his own late night talk show some day, much like David Letterman or Conan O’Brien.

Earlier this year, Judith Dumont, YFT’s Director of Youth Services, found out about a series of improv workshops being conducted by members of longtime Fort Worth outfit, Four Day Weekend. Judith forwarded the info to Charley, who, naturally, was eager for the opportunity but simply could not afford the cost; however, once word got out about Charley’s predicament, a scholarship materialized thanks to donations from supportive, albeit anonymous, YFT volunteers.

His group’s first—free—performance was held on the night of Saturday, October 10, which turned out to be a great opportunity for Charley’s open-mic pals, such as Essie, Laura, Matt, Michael, Zack, and a few others, to take a road trip to Fort Worth to show their support; Volunteer Chad Ottosen graciously agreed to set up a caravan from the center. Charley’s stand-out bits included playing a progressively irate NYC police officer as well as Roman gladiator, and also a hunter in the Australian outback. Afterward, Charley and the rest of the YFT gang adjourned to a nearby Starbucks for an impromptu open-mic. The next week, Charley shared his newly acquired skills at big-group, encouraging Thursday night regulars to try their hand at such fun exercises as Zig-Zag-Zog and Dr. Know-It-All.

Round two of the workshops begins this week. Looking back on his experience so far, Charley says he’s learned, “that if you try to be funny, it just seems ridiculous. Let the situation be funny.” He further adds, “They say that good humor comes from a dark place. The life I was given wasn’t always as nice as the other lives I saw, but I never gave up, because in the end, I have to live it, so I might as well enjoy myself (even through the struggles). I firmly believe that you need to have dark days to appreciate the light that filters through. :)”

…as they say in the improv biz, “And ‘Scene’.”

September 22nd, 2009.

Last night during the North Texas GLBT Chamber of Commerce’s Pride Dinner at the Warwick Melrose Hotel, keynote speaker Cleve Jones issued a challenge: If you can’t make it to the National Equality March in October, send someone in your place.

Shortly after Jones concluded his remarks, six chamber members and/or Pride dinner attendees responded, with each agreeing to pay for one of the local LGBT youth on hand to go to Washington. The six beneficiaries from Youth First Texas, shown after the dinner, are Will Mason, Chris Lopez, Victor Rodriguez, Steven Richmond, John McKnight and Hai Duong. They are pictured along with chamber member Jay Forte, far right.

Sending the youth to D.C. reportedly was the idea of longtime lesbian activists Louise Young and Vivienne Armstrong, who conceived it during the dinner and will be sponsoring one of the youth. Afterward, Young noted that many of Dallas’ pioneering activists, including Bill Nelson and Don Baker, attended the first gay-rights march on Washington in 1979.

“I think it’s so important for the next generation of activists to have some of the experiences that have sustained us,” Young said. “These things [marches] are very energizing.”

UPDATE: According to Chamber President and CEO Tony Vedda, the others who agreed to send a youth to D.C. were Cordey Lash, Derrick Brown, Mark Reed (2) and Jonathan Palant.

— John Wright

Name: Barbara Jacob
Age: 45
Role at YFT: Parent

1. Who is your icon or role model? My parents.

2. What is your favorite thing to do when you are at Youth First Texas? I love getting to know someone different whenever I’m up here.

3. What song are you currently having trouble getting out of your head? “Sharp Dressed Man” by ZZ Top.

4. Where would we find you on a typical Friday night? More than likely I’ll be at home.

5. What would you say your best feature is? I would have to say my eyes.

6. If you could choose one word to describe you, what would it be? I like to think of myself as funny.

7. What is your favorite hangout on the strip? Pretty much anywhere.

8. What color of the rainbow do you think best represents you? Purple, probably.

9. What is your personal motto? “Everything is worth knowing.”

10. What is one thing that it might be surprising to learn about you? I love to belly dance!

Victor Rodriguez, 21, is a youth here at YFT. He  goes to school at Texas A & M Commerce and identifies with the “G” in LGBT. His favorite YFT programs are Big Thursday Group and the Queer Writers. Victor is hard to miss because he sports an astonishing 20 piercings.

“I first came to YFT a few years ago because one of my friends asked me to come with him, but I stopped coming for a while after that. It wasn’t until about a month ago that I decided to come back. I’m glad to be back home,” Rodriguez said.

His LGBT icon is David Willburn because he “changed my life. He helped open my eyes and helped me find my passion.”

Rodriguez adds, “YFT means a life changing experience. YFT has helped me find myself and love me for who I am.”

“To me, being a part of YFT has been an amazing experience that has opened many doors in many aspects of my life. I am very thankful to have found YFT and I hope others can get the same experience out of it as I have.”